It's funny in high school and college when you get that "Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years?" question. It is always so glamorous. You see the suit, the office with an ocean view, and the overflowing bank account. If you are like me you see all kinds of new and interesting places being traveled and explored. I thought I would be roaming the world, never considering the price tag. Speaking of things being funny, I still envision myself this way.
This leads me to my life of wiping up poop, steaming broccoli, and learning the intense and overwhelming technology of today's average stroller. You can add to this list - knowing very ridiculous songs about colors and animals, adopting an entirely new wardrobe of yoga pants and big ugly shirts (as well as mastering the au natural no make up look), whipping around town on a Saturday night with the girls and then remembering you have a car seat in your car, and I have to just mention the poop again. "Your baby is so cute" is what I get a lot. I used to always say "I'm his nanny!" Now I just say, "Thanks!" I mean at this point he is partially mine, right? I mean that in a totally non-creepy way. I would never claim full responsibility of the child I watch, but it's like when you work at an ice cream shop, you would say, "my ice cream is the best in town!" You sure as hell did not create that recipe and simultaneously get the position of cashier. We all take ownership of our jobs, especially after some time. But being a nanny is a breed all its own. I am well aware that I am nice, white, young, Jewish girl and that most people would choose me to watch their child, but, like, are you sure? I am 100% capable of taking care of this baby, I have fallen in love with him! But I am also 100% capable of losing my phone for the second time at Coachella, spending too much money on clothes and other random items, and deciding to up and leave the country with the drop of a hat (done that multiple times now). I find myself displeased with my nanny career considering I am an educated woman in the field of Journalism, but then I think about the perks: the yoga pants, no taxes, nice hours, the baby sleeps a lot, we take walks regularly, no make-up, no cubicle, and I just love the yoga pants. I was so rushed before to get into my field, go back to grad school, find a "real job." As the time moves forward, I realize I don't have the worst thing going for me. I have the ability to really explore my options, write in my blog, plan my future.
The day will come when I am doing what I am meant to do and what I am great at. That day will come for anyone who is willing to let it, who is willing to work for it. The rushing is silly and pointless. Everyone has many roads that lead to many places. We just have to slow down. Accept the nanny career as it is because its a good thing right now.
That's my cue...the baby's crying.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
You are young, you are getting old.
"You are young! You still have so much time to make decisions."
"You are about to be 24, you should be at least heading in the right direction."
These are the conflicting things not only going through my own head, but what I am being told by others. Sometimes the same person says both of these things to me in one conversation. Sometimes one of my parents says one of the two, the other one says the other, the next day they switch. P.s. confusion is not a good parenting technique.
Listen, (well, read...) I went through four years of college, like many others. I graduated and didn't leave feeling like life was going to start right there, right then. Maybe I should have? I felt like a lot of different big opportunities were on their way and I would get my toes wet in a few of them and rely on what I have relied on for many years - the wind - to lead me in the right direction. I don't really recommend this advice to future grads, but it hasn't served me all that bad. However, here I am today stuck between a....(I wanted to say a rock and a hard place, but I am trying to be a writer here). Here I am today with slight opportunities here and there, all requiring my hard work, FOCUS, determination, and focus (did I mention focus?). I am willing to work hard for something I love, and I am determined to do something I love and be good at it, but my focus has led me astray. I am no doctor, and I would never diagnose myself with a disease that children and adults actually do struggle with each day, but I definitely do have focus issues. If I haven't seen a friend in a while and I am really excited about our coffee date, here goes the introduction: Hi! Hey! How are you doing? I've been good, just busy working and - I seriously love this sweater where is it from? I got it at this new - oh the one with all the clothes? Yeah, they have - Wait, I have to ask you this before we keep talking about that, did Jim and Kate break up? OMG, yes! So sad, I think he che - Yeah I heard he cheated with that random chick, do you watch that new TV show? ...... Get it??
I received sound advice from one of the writers/producers of Friends on Monday morning. Lucky me, I got to meet with him for an hour while he made me feel more motivated and more capable of successfully reaching my goal than I have felt in a while. It is inevitable to still feel self-doubt, like someone else is much better than you, but I am learning all about this thing called, FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.
Not because I have focus issues, but because it is time to change the subject - Anna visited from Friday until yesterday. We had the best time!! I loved having her in California with me and shopping and eating and shopping and eating and shopping. It is amazing how I met her in Israel, spent everyday with her for 9 months, and feel closer to her than some people I have grown up with. If only she were a guy?! Sharing the same humor with someone is priceless.
The beginning of 2013 had me uptight and nervous and panicking over my future. April is now here and I have stepped back and let the wind back into my life. Things will work out because I want them too. Enjoy the moments you have with your friends and with YOURSELF while you are young. Eat well, take care of your body and your MIND. Read. Write. And always appreciate.
"You are about to be 24, you should be at least heading in the right direction."
These are the conflicting things not only going through my own head, but what I am being told by others. Sometimes the same person says both of these things to me in one conversation. Sometimes one of my parents says one of the two, the other one says the other, the next day they switch. P.s. confusion is not a good parenting technique.
Listen, (well, read...) I went through four years of college, like many others. I graduated and didn't leave feeling like life was going to start right there, right then. Maybe I should have? I felt like a lot of different big opportunities were on their way and I would get my toes wet in a few of them and rely on what I have relied on for many years - the wind - to lead me in the right direction. I don't really recommend this advice to future grads, but it hasn't served me all that bad. However, here I am today stuck between a....(I wanted to say a rock and a hard place, but I am trying to be a writer here). Here I am today with slight opportunities here and there, all requiring my hard work, FOCUS, determination, and focus (did I mention focus?). I am willing to work hard for something I love, and I am determined to do something I love and be good at it, but my focus has led me astray. I am no doctor, and I would never diagnose myself with a disease that children and adults actually do struggle with each day, but I definitely do have focus issues. If I haven't seen a friend in a while and I am really excited about our coffee date, here goes the introduction: Hi! Hey! How are you doing? I've been good, just busy working and - I seriously love this sweater where is it from? I got it at this new - oh the one with all the clothes? Yeah, they have - Wait, I have to ask you this before we keep talking about that, did Jim and Kate break up? OMG, yes! So sad, I think he che - Yeah I heard he cheated with that random chick, do you watch that new TV show? ...... Get it??
I received sound advice from one of the writers/producers of Friends on Monday morning. Lucky me, I got to meet with him for an hour while he made me feel more motivated and more capable of successfully reaching my goal than I have felt in a while. It is inevitable to still feel self-doubt, like someone else is much better than you, but I am learning all about this thing called, FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.
Not because I have focus issues, but because it is time to change the subject - Anna visited from Friday until yesterday. We had the best time!! I loved having her in California with me and shopping and eating and shopping and eating and shopping. It is amazing how I met her in Israel, spent everyday with her for 9 months, and feel closer to her than some people I have grown up with. If only she were a guy?! Sharing the same humor with someone is priceless.
The beginning of 2013 had me uptight and nervous and panicking over my future. April is now here and I have stepped back and let the wind back into my life. Things will work out because I want them too. Enjoy the moments you have with your friends and with YOURSELF while you are young. Eat well, take care of your body and your MIND. Read. Write. And always appreciate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)