You are young, you are getting old.

"You are young! You still have so much time to make decisions."

"You are about to be 24, you should be at least heading in the right direction."

These are the conflicting things not only going through my own head, but what I am being told by others. Sometimes the same person says both of these things to me in one conversation. Sometimes one of my parents says one of the two, the other one says the other, the next day they switch. P.s. confusion is not a good parenting technique.

Listen, (well, read...) I went through four years of college, like many others. I graduated and didn't leave feeling like life was going to start right there, right then. Maybe I should have? I felt like a lot of different big opportunities were on their way and I would get my toes wet in a few of them and rely on what I have relied on for many years - the wind - to lead me in the right direction. I don't really recommend this advice to future grads, but it hasn't served me all that bad. However, here I am today stuck between a....(I wanted to say a rock and a hard place, but I am trying to be a writer here). Here I am today with slight opportunities here and there, all requiring my hard work, FOCUS, determination, and focus (did I mention focus?). I am willing to work hard for something I love, and I am determined to do something I love and be good at it, but my focus has led me astray. I am no doctor, and I would never diagnose myself with a disease that children and adults actually do struggle with each day, but I definitely do have focus issues. If I haven't seen a friend in a while and I am really excited about our coffee date, here goes the introduction: Hi! Hey! How are you doing? I've been good, just busy working and - I seriously love this sweater where is it from? I got it at this new - oh the one with all the clothes? Yeah, they have - Wait, I have to ask you this before we keep talking about that, did Jim and Kate break up? OMG, yes! So sad, I think he che - Yeah I heard he cheated with that random chick, do you watch that new TV show? ...... Get it??

I received sound advice from one of the writers/producers of Friends on Monday morning. Lucky me, I got to meet with him for an hour while he made me feel more motivated and more capable of successfully reaching my goal than I have felt in a while. It is inevitable to still feel self-doubt, like someone else is much better than you, but I am learning all about this thing called, FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.

Not because I have focus issues, but because it is time to change the subject - Anna visited from Friday until yesterday. We had the best time!! I loved having her in California with me and shopping and eating and shopping and eating and shopping. It is amazing how I met her in Israel, spent everyday with her for 9 months, and feel closer to her than some people I have grown up with. If only she were a guy?! Sharing the same humor with someone is priceless.

The beginning of 2013 had me uptight and nervous and panicking over my future. April is now here and I have stepped back and let the wind back into my life. Things will work out because I want them too. Enjoy the moments you have with your friends and with YOURSELF while you are young. Eat well, take care of your body and your MIND. Read. Write. And always appreciate.