Monday, January 11, 2016

does time have to be linear?

On NPR the other day, a man explained how he didn't feel he needed to follow the rules the world has created around linear time. First thought: What a kook. Second thought: How does he survive if he purposely isolates himself from society? Third thought: aybe he isn't kooky, maybe he is onto something...maybe he really understands what it means to LIVE. Fourth thought: No, he's a kook. 

The concept of linear time has remained on my mind. I mean, this is my first post since 2013. I never stopped loving to write. I never was judged on what I wrote - hell, no one even reads this. But if time were linear wouldn't we (or I) be better at being consistent? Me and consistency never really were dear friends. We aren't enemies either. We are just very different and can't seem to figure out how we fit into each others lives. I have never consistently been on a work out plan more than 4 months. I have never consistently eaten healthy. I have never consistently read books - I either am really into a book or it just sits on the nightstand. I have never consistently written in my blog or journal. Don't worry, I do consistently brush my teeth every morning and every night. Showers are consistent too. But I get caught up in other things. I get lazy. I get distracted. Hey, I'm just being honest. My moods change as much as food or fashion trends - and my mood has a lot to do with my consistency. 

Boredom at work led me onto Tumblr which ultimately led me back to my blog. I read the last few posts and smiled from ear to ear because I discovered - I totally am consistent! At least WAY more than I thought. I still whole-heartedly believe the same ideas about balance - within yourself and a relationship - and how to achieve it. This includes how to be happy by letting your life's direction be taken by the wind. And that traveling and writing and reading taking care of your mind and body are the simple things that I personally need to feel free. Many times I do not feel free. I feel chained down to the roles society has created for me. My job. My empty bank account. My room that I'm renting from my sister and brother-in-law. All these things most certainly do not make me feel free in the same sense of freedom I felt while living in Israel or traveling elsewhere. However, I have discovered that physical freedom is completely different from mental freedom and freedom of your heart. The former not being the most important. Your mind and your heart must feel free. That is really it. You should not feel trapped in a relationship that brings you no fire. You should not feel like you have no outlet to express your creativity. You should certainly be able to get there all on your own...and you should continue the journey to that place throughout your whole life. 

You would think with the last paragraph that I would be a TOTAL eco-friendly, granola-eating, Birkenstock-wearing hippie who practices yoga and dumps 1 tsp of chia seeds in each 8 oz. of water. FALSE. I actually am terrible at yoga which keeps me away from practicing and I just had 14 handfuls of jelly beans. I regret it all. But my previous ideas come from a place of living simply, and recognizing you really do not need many things to find balance and happiness in your mind. All you really need is the notion to understand if you wanted to be a practicing yogi who eats the same 80% plant-based diet as Giselle and Tom Brady, you really could be. 

Cheers to keepin' it consistent!

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